Look who came back from her leave of absence. No more excuses, I’ll just get to it because now it’s time to find out who you are and what makes you, you!

To truly love yourself and know your worth, you have to first know yourself. Discovering and exploring yourself is truly an enlightening process that we should all take part of. Contrary to popular opinion, you don’t need someone else to tell you who you are because no one knows you better than you.

The first thing that needs to happen for you to discover yourself is getting away from your daily routine. There is something about the things you do constantly that stops you from seeing the “difference” in the actions you take. So you need to break away from your routine life, do something unusual to trigger that knowledge you need.

Hey, 

How are you doing? How is life treating you? As for me I really enjoyed this Eid-el-fitr holiday because it helped me regroup and refresh, and now I feel as good as new. Well, some days before the holiday my sister called me to tell me how one of her friends died in a ghastly car accident just that afternoon. I was shocked, that a 21 year old final year student who had not truly started living his life was so suddenly gone. Someone who left home thinking he will be back to probably play video games or catch up with friends. I was sad, mostly because it kept hammering in my head that this guy had just missed the chance of living a full life. I kept asking, is this how people die?

Please bear in mind that I am not here to judge him nor dissect how he lived his life. It is not my place to imagine what if he lived his life some type of way or criticize what he could have done better. The good part is that this guy’s death led me to something. I am going to call it the MYSELF SERIES. The more I look, the more I realize most people are just existing and not living. Many of us cannot say, this is who I am, this is why I am here. Personally I am still on the road to discovering myself and truly understanding why I am here, so that it does not become a case of Rere just occupied space on earth. Finding and understanding one’s self is something every individual should do regardless of your age.

Let me just drop it here now that age is truly just a number. Your age does not necessarily mean you are well grounded or mature enough to handle every situation. I understand the place of respect in our society but I think it is time we realize that we should be respected for what we bring to the table and not just how old we are.

The greatest and most important adventure of our lives is discovering who we really are. Yet, so many of us walk around either not really knowing or listening to an awful inner critic that gives us all the wrong ideas about ourselves. We mistakenly think of self-understanding as self-indulgence, and we carry on without asking the most important question we’ll ever ask: Who am I really?

When many people hear “finding yourself” the first thing that crosses their mind is what do I like? what are my hobbies? But honestly it dives deeper than that, it is a process that we all need to go through because it affects every single area of our lives. In order to be the most valuable person to the world around us, the best partner, parent, friend etc., we have to first know who we are, what we value and, in effect, what we have to offer.

The Myself Series is going to be as follows:

Hi,

Been a minute, Lol!

Somehow you would have to forgive my disappearing acts, but then I have discovered than I am not one to just wake and churn out crappy stuff. I actually enjoy making sense. I missed you guys, who missed me? I am grateful for everyone that keeps messaging me to ask for my next post. You are my true inspiration.

I’ll be talking about expectations today. Over the past few weeks, I have been privileged to be in some amazing gatherings. Some I want to tell you about but then I know I might not fully pass the message the way I heard it. Which will be sad, but trust me I will try.

Why do we expect soooooo much from everything around us??

The world is guided by people that feel so arrogantly entitled to getting things when they want it. Life is a gift to mankind but humans are cocky to the point where we sleep at night and automatically expect we will wake up the next morning. Without even stopping to think about the mechanics behind it or who/what makes it happen.

Research has shown that the rate of depression and suicide has increased by 50% over the past 5 years alone. This stat puts a hamper on my mood because after thinking it through I realized the foundation problem is “Expectations”. Why are your expectations so high? Why do you intentionally mount pressure on people?

The society expects the world of you, so much so that you push yourself till you break into tiny pieces. Every parent expects their child to go to school, get good grades, then get a good job, get married and stay responsible. As a child, you expect your parents to always be there for you attending to your every whim, pay your bills till you can take care of yourself and just generally set a great example for you.

Now the problem is nothing ever goes as planned. Then we start to feel disappointed, which turns into resentment because expectations are premeditated resentments. Does it now make sense why the rate of depression is so high?

So many friendships, relationships and marriages fail because individuals fail to realize no two persons are the exact same. Stop expecting your friend to like the same music you like, stop arguing with your boyfriend/girlfriend because they don’t see things the way you do. If 6 is written on a sheet, one person will see it as 6 while another will see it as 9. No one is wrong, they just see it from different points.

When we realize we are not all the same, we have the power to conquer two things; - Competition & Comparison.

The choice is yours, do you want to continue living life hoping that people live up to your expectation of them? Or would you rather love life by expecting nothing and appreciating people when they do things? My take would be that you give people the chance of being themselves around you, because…

 … Peace begins when expectation ends…

Happy New Year!

Lol, I am a joker right? It’s almost the end of the first month and I decided to crawl out of my hole to write something. Consistency has got to be one of the hardest things to attain in life… wow… How do you guys that gym do it? This year, I will not apologize on this particular post for staying away for so long. Why? Well because I am scared it might become a situation of me apologizing on every post. Rest assured though that this year I am going to do big things here and share them with you guys.

Later in the year by God’s grace I will be organizing a mini-conference for young entrepreneurs who have a startup and other young people who aspire to be entrepreneurs. It will be sort of like an empowerment/mentorship program for all of us to grow and become better people.

So, today I would like to talk about Peer Pressure.

Peer pressure comes as a result of intimidation by what you see others do or out of curiosity, and the desire to fit in among your peers. But I noticed that the moment you type in peer pressure on Google. Most related topics only address peer pressure as something that affects only youths and teenagers.

I don’t have a problem with that, but I personally have discovered overtime that peer pressure is common to every age and gender, it is just as much in older people as younger ones. Many of us give in to pressure because we want to belong, to be liked, to fit in, everybody is doing it, we worry other people may wonder why “your own is different.” But never forget that no matter the reason you are pressured into acting contrary to your better judgment, or common sense, you can walk away and not let other people dictate how your life goes.

What we forget is, sometimes the people you associate with or call friends may determine how far you go in life. So why not keep things clear with yourself by choosing wisely the people you associate with, they should be people with integrity and wisdom. Don’t just do things because every other person is doing it or every other person will talk if you don’t do it.  

As a country, Nigerians have that problem in common because we are aspirational beings. We want the exact thing we saw one woman in church wearing, or we want to vote for the same person Banky-W will vote for. I think it is time to start making independent decisions that will make “me” as a person happy and fulfilled.

Leave the next person to live their life that way it pleases them, not only will it help your personal growth but also our country’s progress. 

Until the next post…

iamtherere

Minutes turned to hours, hours turned to days, days turned to weeks and now we’re here. There is no excuse for this sort of procrastination, I might say I have been swamped with work and I don’t even have time to breathe. Yet every time I say No, Rerelolu you won’t stop writing, you need to continue people are waiting. It feels like I am trying to convince myself more than I’m trying to convince you guys.

A wise uncle of mine once said to me; you can alter the pace but don’t shift the goal post at every chance. And you also know what they say, a rolling stone gathers no moss. It is better to have long term goals and break them into short and medium term goals than to have short term goals that you only cook halfway.

One thing I’ve realized is that it’s so easy to want one thing but get distracted so much you forget that one thing you want. So many of us are confused about what we want, forgetting that there is a difference between a want and a need. The same mouth you use to call it labor market is the same mouth someone else calls it favor market. The difference is that they have a clear cut dream they are chasing without stopping to attend to distractions.

I have realized there is no such thing as a hopeless situation, there are only people who have hopeless attitudes. When I started this write up, I did not know where I was headed. Now I think I have a direction and that is addressing the confusion among many people (both old and young) in the world today. 

I met someone recently who has big dreams, she’s relatively young with commendable achievements for her age. The issue is that she wants to do everything, entrepreneurship she’s interested, working for others she’s also interested. If you say real estate, she will be interested, talk about farming, marketing, just name it. Don’t get me wrong, I love the zeal and I think it’s amazing how her mind works and how hard she’s willing to work for her success. But then again doesn’t it seem like maybe she might be swamping herself with every and anything just to get rich quick? Or what if that really is the way to go?

When people would ask what my career plans are, I would give a long list of everything I want to do. From owning my chain of companies to producing my TV show, to empowering young people, to public speaking, modelling and acting and definitely fashion designing. Yes you might say ahnahn, sister calm down but as my mother will say, nothing is impossible. Also many of us have allowed our families and the society cage us into believing that some things are the norm and some other things are “impossicant.”

I read somewhere that if you want to achieve greatness, you need to stop asking for permission. So my question goes to everyone who is just as confused as I sometimes get about their goals and how to achieve them.

Would you rather do all the many things you want to do at the same time or would you just take one route and see where it leads.

Share your thoughts and comments below, I look forward to reading them.

Happy Independence Nigeria!!

I’m currently working on an interesting piece about Nigeria but while writing I got stuck. So my independence post will be a little delayed, I might be doing a small giveaway, so make sure you are following me on social media.

A while ago I promised to share more information about NASSI and how they can help your small business grow.

The association admits those in manufacturing, processing, mining and service industries. Those whose capital investments fall within the definition of small scale industry. NASSI is quite alert to gender issues and has placed a high premium on encouraging women entrepreneurship. They have a women’s wing to cater for their special needs apart from being well represented in the executive council of NASSI.

They cater for the following industries;

MANUFACTURING/MINING/PROCESSING GROUP

SERVICE GROUP ACTIVITIES

I read somewhere that if you focus on problems you will have more problems. And if you focus on possibilities you will have more opportunities. Over the past couple of weeks, one thing has become clear to me, excuses will be there for you but opportunities won’t be.

As Thomas Edison said, “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

So many people are quick to make excuses because we refuse to open our eyes and see that life is beyond the now. If you don’t take opportunities as they come, what would be left is a life of “What ifs” and “Maybes”.  The open doors of opportunity are all around you, but they won’t do you much good unless you learn to see them and recognize when to walk through them.

One of life's biggest ironies is how often people complain about their circumstances, yet rarely do anything about it.  It's not that they don't have good intentions, or the desire for change isn't great. It's that change is scary and risky.  Even when we're unhappy with our current situation, we are familiar with it. For this reason, we often miss opportunities, even when they are staring us right in the face. 

Let me share with you a story I read. Laurie was frustrated and burnt out from a very stressful job, she found herself with little energy or time to work on her wellness goals. Working in the face of constant deadlines led to lots of eating on the run, convenience foods and stress munching.  Extraordinarily long hours made getting to the gym difficult.   The only enjoyment Laurie got from her work was the huge paycheck she received at the end of the week.  Of course, she had no time to spend it on entertainment or shopping.  Although her savings was growing, her happiness was declining rapidly.

The one bright spot in Laurie's week was the volunteer work she did with underprivileged children on Saturday mornings.  Despite the hectic schedule she kept, she never missed that appointment. She also served on the organization's board, made it to every meeting and did all the bookkeeping for them.

It was fascinating that although she complained about having too much on her plate, Laurie never entertained the idea of giving up her volunteer work.  It was the one place she got to use her strengths, forget her daily concerns, and have fun!

Laurie began thinking around the idea of looking for another job.  As so many others, Laurie had a vision of a better way, even a clear picture of what she would need to get there, but she was so often frozen in her progression. At times, she was desperate to switch gears, and yet sometimes  undecided about making the change. 

The more she thought about it, the more her confusion and worry mounted.  What if I can't find a job that pays as well as this one? Could I make do with less? What if I think the new job sounds great, and it turns out to be just as stressful as this one? "What ifs" were keeping Laurie exactly where she was--except now, on top of everything, she was feeling frustrated and annoyed at herself for being "too scared" to try something new.

Laurie's story is not unusual.  Why is taking a chance so difficult? Why do we hesitate to change, and so often spend more time thinking rather than doing anything about it? 

Most of us lead lives filled with routine.  We get up at a particular time, get ready for our day, and embark about the myriad of responsibilities we need to attend to.  We don't give much thought to them; we just go through the motions getting things done, crossing them off our lists and then moving on to the next.  When thoughts such as, "Is this all there is?" or "I'm bored, and want a change," creep in, we know it's time to look for new opportunities.

Sometimes, all you need to do is right there staring you in the face just waiting for you. It is better to act and be wrong than to not take action and be stagnant.

The Rere Platform