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Stay Strong
I have a very strong feeling, to encourage someone, who is just
on the verge of giving up. Lately I see many young people actually trying,
making efforts to be better, to do better. To be different, but it seems as if
all their efforts are just in vain. Sadly it seems like nothing is working,
like things are only getting harder. I don’t know how all of a sudden,
everywhere I turn I see sad, almost depressed young adults. Little wonder why
the rate of depression has increased over time.
Someone reading this might have reached the point
where all you are thinking is “I’m tired” “I can’t continue” “The pressure is
too much” “Why are things not working for me” “Why is my own different?”
Never forget
that, God never gives you more than you can handle. If you are faced without
something that seems too big for you to carry, be rest assured that He
considers you strong enough to overcome. Why are things not working out for
you? It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people have felt
this exact way at some point or the other.
One thing to avoid though is complaining, stop comparing
yourself to the young guy you see buying houses. In fact, decades of research
on achievement suggests that successful people reach their goals not
simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.
What should you be doing differently?
1. Get
specific. When you set yourself a goal, try to be as specific as possible.
“Lose 5kg” is a better goal than “lose some weight,” because it gives you a
clear idea of what success looks like. Knowing exactly what you want to achieve
keeps you motivated until you get there. Also, think about the specific actions
that need to be taken to reach your goal. Just promising you’ll “eat less” or
“sleep more” is too vague — be clear and precise. “I’ll start writing a book,
this weekend” leaves no room for doubt about what you need to do.
2. Seize the moment to act on your goals. Given how most Nigerian parents are, most of us are scared to pursue what we truly love. Just because your mum has always dreamt of her son being a Lawyer doesn’t mean her son is destined to actually be a Lawyer. Accepted the music industry might be full or is it fashion? But never forget that the sky is wide enough for everyone to fly. I am not saying copy someone else because you think there’s money there. I am saying do something you are truly passionate about, you don’t have to wear a suit and tie to be successful. Rest assured your parents might not support you at first but if they see that truly you love what you want to do, any sane parent will support eventually.
3. Be a realistic optimist. When you are setting a goal, by all means engage in lots of positive thinking about how likely you are to achieve it. Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful for creating and sustaining your motivation. But whatever you do, don’t underestimate how difficult it will be to reach your goal. Most goals worth achieving require time, planning, effort, and persistence. Studies show that thinking things will come to you easily and effortlessly leaves you ill-prepared for the journey ahead, and significantly increases the odds of failure.
2. Seize the moment to act on your goals. Given how most Nigerian parents are, most of us are scared to pursue what we truly love. Just because your mum has always dreamt of her son being a Lawyer doesn’t mean her son is destined to actually be a Lawyer. Accepted the music industry might be full or is it fashion? But never forget that the sky is wide enough for everyone to fly. I am not saying copy someone else because you think there’s money there. I am saying do something you are truly passionate about, you don’t have to wear a suit and tie to be successful. Rest assured your parents might not support you at first but if they see that truly you love what you want to do, any sane parent will support eventually.
3. Be a realistic optimist. When you are setting a goal, by all means engage in lots of positive thinking about how likely you are to achieve it. Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful for creating and sustaining your motivation. But whatever you do, don’t underestimate how difficult it will be to reach your goal. Most goals worth achieving require time, planning, effort, and persistence. Studies show that thinking things will come to you easily and effortlessly leaves you ill-prepared for the journey ahead, and significantly increases the odds of failure.
4. Have grit. Grit is a willingness to commit to long-term goals, and to persist in the face of difficulty. Grit predicts which runner will make it to the finish line. In fact, grit even predicts which round of contestants will make it to at the Scripps National Spelling Bee.
The good news is, if you aren’t particularly gritty
now, there is something you can do about it. People who lack grit more often
than not believe that they just don’t have the innate abilities successful
people have, (which is a big lie). If this statement describes your own thinking
…. Well, there’s no way to put this nicely: you are wrong and silly to even
think that. You have to realise that how your future turns out, lies solely in
your hands. Each of us have to be accountable for the abilities God has put in
us.
5. Focus on what you will do, not what you won’t do. Do you want to successfully lose weight, quit smoking, or
put a lid on your bad temper? Then plan how you will replace bad habits with
good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves. Research on
thought suppression (e.g., “Don’t think about white bears!”) has shown that
trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind. The same
holds true when it comes to behavior — by trying not to engage in a bad habit,
our habits get strengthened rather than broken.
Don’t cry, don’t be weary and don’t be sad. Just hang on and
stay strong. Ending your life isn’t the best option. Giving up isn’t also an
option.
Find a way to stay happy, to be happy.
Live, Laugh & Love.
Your best is yet to come.
Feel free to send me an email if you want to talk to someone, it's okay to be needy, it's also okay if you want to stay anonymous. Reach out, i'm available anytime.
