The Deciding Factor


Welcome to the new month! 

August, August, I remember all the August Rush tales I heard before I entered the university. They said as a fresher the senior guys will come at you and try to have their way with you. Personally I didn’t think it was real because in secondary school, I was what you’d call a “roughian”. Talking too much, playing rough like a boy, always involved in one activity or the other. I was so nonchalant about appearance and all that. So, in my mind I was wondering which boy in his right mind will care about such a girl.

When I got to the university (in September) the rush had already finished and I wasn’t bothered. It was my first time away from home and I wanted to have all the fun I could (without any boy destroying my life, LOL). Making decisions on my own was kind of weird. I was used to mummy and daddy saying “Do this, Go there, Be that.” Many times I would get confused, question my decisions after I had made them but still I would reassure myself and say “Rere, you’ve learnt from that one so don’t do it again.”

The university is a smaller version of how the real world is; you meet many people who do not even know why they are there. You meet people who say my parents chose this course for me. You’ll see people who applied for Law and got admitted for Mass Communication or English so to them it’s okay to suck at it. You meet people that just came to the university because going to school is the normal thing to do. You meet people who applied for Law but they find themselves studying another course, yet they put their all into succeeding at it. And then you meet people that applied for Law and got in for Law and they’re so focused because they know where they’re headed.

A lot of people in the world don’t know who they are, or even what they want out of life. I’m sorry that I always refer to my parents a lot in my posts but we have some very inspiring conversations I feel I should share. Every time my parents start to complain about how I shouldn’t be doing certain things, I would say “Parents, you’ve given me the best home training ever. Now you need to just relax and see that I have taken the training.”

The whole point of this throwback is to ask you; who or what decides what your future looks like?

There is a huge difference between following your dream and following your parents dream. True parents are there to guide and steer you in the right path. But it is not their duty to plant the seed of a dream in your heart. I have discovered that many parents or guardians do not support the dreams or career paths their ward/children choose to follow. Why is that? Well, personally I would say it’s because they are from another generation. A time where you either have to be a Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer or Banker to be rich or considered successful. Funny enough now, the “then menial jobs” like photography, acting, singing, tailoring, painting and so on is what puts food on many tables today. In fact you are considered talented or a genius if you can do any of these.

The follow your dream thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family and friends. People who should be supportive end up saying “What are you talking about?” Even if it is a regular career path, just because it’s not what they imagined for you. They kind of react funny. I have a friend that studied a course in computing, and tried to look for jobs all to no avail. I knew that he had a passion for cooking, but he was scared to go down that path because of what parents would say. After a lot of pushing and gingering, he’s cooking and making a lot of money from it. The same parents are the ones bringing him clients, announcing their son.

We all have our lives to live, so if someone laughs at how absurd your dream is. Ask yourself "what is important?" then have the courage to build your life around your answer. Nobody is going to live your life for you, so it should be what you want not what they want. 
This new month ensure that your dreams don't just stay dreams. 

Just because everyone is going in one direction doesn’t mean you should too. Everyone could be wrong. 

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  1. I hate my job right now simply because it's not what I love doing. No passion. Just a means to an end. I go home frustrated almost every day. I need to think about what is most important and what makes me happy and then pursue that. Thanks for the inspiration.

    1. Hey Anonymous,

      I read somewhere that sometimes in order to get it right you have to get it wrong many times. I'm sure a lot of people feel the same way you do. It doesn't help that you are frustrated almost everyday at your job. So i think it's time for you to think outside the box and be ready to take a risk. I wish you all the best. Thank you for commenting.